Log

Deep Madderian Bazooka Joe

2012-01-05T12:16:00.003-05:00

The Power of Loneliness

2011-12-27T03:45:00.007-05:00

I spent most of today alone, sitting at my desk in my apartment, and my ensuing activities have once again reminded me how motivating loneliness is.* I dealt with my loneliness by:

1. E-mailed five people to whom I rarely speak, three of with whom I very rarely (if ever) interact (including my first e-mail ever to my brother), thus comprising a spontaneous “social bridge” gesture which would not have otherwise been accomplished.

2. Worked on my Annex Journal Distinction writings for the first time in weeks.

3. Made this blog post (the first in three months).

4. Doing all the previous three activities whilst listening to sad, introspective Thanksgiving songs, and occasionally even analysing and writing down the lyrics.

*As readers of Deep Madder Monthly will know, my solitude tolerance is extraordinarily low, to the extent that, despite being happily partnered (not to mention having woken up with said partner this very morning), a day and night spent alone will dependably send me into a Deep Madderian fit of melancholy.

Deep Madder Radio Ep. 9

2011-09-27T19:39:00.006-04:00

The ninth episode of Deep Madder Radio has finally arrived after an insufferable wait of ten months! Luckily for our most avid of listeners, said lateness will somewhat be compensated by the fact that this is the best episode ever. It is a portion of our interview with L. Ulrich from 20 June 2011 (which we have yet to turn to episode) in which we debated the merit of reading versus fornication. Guess who's on which side?

New Zine Forecast

2011-09-06T18:03:00.009-04:00

Here is the prototype for the long-awaited first issue of the Annex Journal of Distinction, which should be finally complete by the end of this month. This format and typography should distinguish the zine from Deep Madder Monthly while retaining our signature aesthetic austerity.

DEEP MADDER SYMPOSIUM 2

2011-08-23T01:21:00.011-04:00

Four months later, I think it is now sufficiently flushed from our consciousness that we ought finally to acknowledge the second Deep Madder Symposium. On 16 March 2011, the editors and subscribers (and a mere reader or three) of Deep Madder Monthly met at 179 Spadina Road for an evening of zine readings and weird activities. Though most guests decided their sartorial vernacular was the most this event deserved, contrary to our dress code of monochromatic formality, the evening progressed fairly well, from what I can recall (which is admittedly not much). Highlights include the introduction of a Deep Madder board game called Misanthropy, which was conspicuously more a parade of our self-pity and scorn of the romantic privileges of others, in keeping with the traditional (though perhaps no longer relevant, as intimated below) Deep Madderian narrative. Of particular note is a remarkably elaborate miniature rendition of our Canzine presence with “Peeps” in place of the editors, presented atop no less than a painfully delicious icebox cake, generously contributed by one Ms P. Clark.

This symposium also marked the introduction of my colleague’s partner, Ms H. McGaw, to our social group (not to mention the end of our last remaining credibility in the experience of romantic alienation). Needless to say, the presence of both our respective partners rendered our readings of romantic despair and loneliness somewhat antique, testament to the fact that what is good for us is bad for Deep Madder, for which rejection and failure are fuel (hence our recent unprecedentedly low productivity rate). This made a total of only two single people out of ten in attendance, though most couples conformed to our stipulation of no conspicuous romance (with a conspicuous exception captured photographically [not pictured]). Perhaps for the next symposium we will hire a bouncer to better encourage conformity to our rules? I will end with a model couple in attendance:

Welcome back.

2011-08-20T20:16:00.004-04:00

It seems that your editors were working so diligently at preparing new issues of Deep Madder Monthly that we entirely forgot to renew our domain name. But fret not, dear reader - after months in internet limbo, the domain has been returned to its rightful owners, and deepmadder.com is officially arisen from the dead!

Rest assured that despite our website being down, we ourselves have not been resting on our laurels; expect new issues, new symposiums, and new radio episodes shortly. We've also registered for Canzine 2011, taking place on October 23rd, so all insults, complaints, and indifference may soon be directed at us in person.

Love,

Deep Madder

Deep Madder Symposium 1

2011-02-07T01:08:00.009-05:00

As noted below, on 26 January 2011 we held the first Deep Madder Symposium. Guests, which comprised of subscribers to Deep Madder Monthly and our friends (which are essentially inextricable), gathered at the Spadina Road house in which Mr Hubbarde and our friend/subscriber Ms L. Ulrich live for an evening of formality, introspection, and vulnerability. In attendance, apart from the editors, were, in order of arrival, said Ms L. Ulrich, Mr Z. Xu, Ms C. Booth, Ms P. Clark, Ms S. Hardman, and Mr R. Cole. To our pleasant surprise, guests almost completely conformed to the Rule Book For Future Deep Madder Functions, in attire as well as in social comportment (e.g. refraining from romantic pairing). We very much appreciate their (your) diligent observation of our ideals and participatory presence at this event; the fine cheese and humble crackers we served hopefully offered a tacit reminder of our appreciation.

First, the editors read from the 24th issue, to animate content that is normally relegated to the page. Questions and comments were taken on various features and many discussions were had. A 17-question test we wrote the day before, meant to determine one’s congruence with the Deep Madderian subjectivity, was distributed to everyone present, the results of which we compiled for future scrutiny. Then we read from the 25th issue, from which we derived much conversation and debate with guests. Lastly, we played a game called Judging, in which we were to assess the merit of subjects of given scenarios. The debate arising from the first and only scenario we were able to offer was so fervently argued by either side that it took almost two hours, at the end of which it was far too late to continue any activities.

Since we were thus unable to read and discuss the two other most recent issues that we had planned for, another symposium will be scheduled relatively soon, perhaps for March, at which point we will hopefully have several new issues to disseminate to subscribers.

DM Radio update

2011-01-23T12:33:00.004-05:00

It is with the usual mix of pride and embarrassment that we announce that we have (at long last) uploaded Deep Madder Radio episodes 7 and 8 to our website. Recorded in late October and early November respectively, both episodes revolve around the subject of Canzine.

Episode 7, having been recorded the night before said event, finds your tired editors feverishly assembling zines whilst discussing their expectations, hopes, and anxieties for the next day, as well as a providing a brief summary of the previous year's experience. Episode 8, recorded the subsequent week, serves as a Canzine recap, with the editors noting their ~~successes and~~ failures and relaying ~~interesting~~ anecdotes.

As always, radio episodes can be found here for your downloading enjoyment.

In other news, we're hoping to make some minor-but-not-miniscule changes to our website soon, so you may want to visit it 10 times a day instead of your usual 5.

Deep Madder Symposium No. 1

2011-01-20T13:56:00.003-05:00

We hope that you will join us in the Annex next Wednesday, 26 January 2011, for the inaugural Deep Madder function.

After years of fruitless prospective alacrity, our recent explosion in productivity has incited a newfound sense of urgency in us as to Deep Madderian pursuits. Your beloved editors, both Mr Arvelo McQuaig and Mr Hubbarde, will read aloud from recent issues, complete with fresh content, after which you may ask questions, offer comments, and lob criticisms. Consonant with our love of vulnerability, we will welcome any (thoughtful) inquiry or attack, no matter how personal or caustic.

We will also play thematically germane games such as “Who’s the Nerd,” “Paying My Late Subscription Fees,” “Reader Feedback, Three Years Too Late,” and “Answer the Quiz You Were Supposed to Answer More Than a Year Ago.”

Love,

Deep Madder

E-mail Troubles

2010-11-24T16:45:00.006-05:00

EDIT: the situation has (mostly) been resolved, so please resume using our regular email address.

For some frustratingly unknown reason, we are not able to access our official e-mail address (mail@deepmadder.com) at the moment. If, for the time being, you could send all comments and queries to our alternative address (deepmadder@gmail.com), that would be much appreciated.

Thank you, and this post will be edited upon getting the proper address back in working order.

Canzine is finally here

2010-10-24T03:07:00.002-04:00

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Please note that tomorrow, Sunday 24 October, is our annual attendance of Canzine, so please visit us! It is from 1-7 p.m. at the Great Hall.
Furthermore, with the advent of both editors’ possession of mobile telephony, we will be tweeting live on location and documenting our failures digitally. As I write this we are finishing last-minute work on our table supplies (making copies of anthologies and individual issues to sell/disseminate). See you tomorrow.
Love,
Deep Madder

ANNUAL CANZINE WHIPPING

2010-09-13T14:09:00.014-04:00

Dearest Readers,

Despite a conspicuous drought of queries* or complaints as to our enterprise’s (lack of) output,we think it incumbent on us to mention that we are now on the brink of a long, long-overdue Deep Madder (second) renaissance. Like every year, summer seems to have taken its gruesome toll on your humble editors’ productivity, although this year, evidently, our indolent slumber began in the late-winter/spring, and has lasted until early autumn. Which is where we now stand, embarrassingly, still empty-handed in regard to any new issues post-January, for the entire year. The fact that this shameful delay of Deep Madder Monthly has been equalled (if not surpassed) by a similarly sclerotic radio faculty (having released a paltry 1 episode for the year thus far) is inexcusable, and we are sorry.

However, there is good news to share. Two factors that have historically limited our productivity – the geographic chasm between our respective living situations, as well as our academic duties – are suddenly coming to an end. Mr C. Hubbarde has just this month finally moved to Toronto, to a home not only in the same city as Mr A. Arvelo McQuaig, but on the same street, only a few houses away. Thus, Deep Madder’s diminutive editorial staff is now geographically united, enabling far more frequent meetings and “productivity nights.” Further, Arvelo McQuaig has now completed his nearly decade-long pursuit of a Bachelor of Arts, and Hubbarde’s Master of Arts should be complete in but a few months. The imminent elimination of these two obstacles, then, will hopefully lubricate our work.

Emerging from this prolonged hibernation, we are now preparing for a gargantuan workload for the following two months in an attempt (attempt) to finish eight issues before our attendance of Canzine, on 24 October. The prospect of attending this event with a paltry number of issues to show for the year will undoubtedly expedite the pace of our work so that we at least have several new issues done by said date.

*Except for an increasingly bizarre number of requests for more Deep Madder Radio episodes, of late

Episode 6 of Deep Madder Radio

2010-07-24T15:58:00.004-04:00

The much-awaited, half-forgotten* 6th episode of Deep Madder Radio from 22 May has been dusted off and released to the internet for your pleasure. Tell us what you think, and sorry for the delay.

*as evident in the comments of the previous post

YOURS (by) YOURS

2010-06-23T18:50:00.012-04:00

A new musician on Deep Madder Recordings brings nine new songs comprising our fourth musical release. It evokes fluorescent lights rising amidst fog machines in a castle. It is inspired by the 80s and, inexplicably, the weird aesthetic and recollected feelings of dark 90s computer games (like Doom or Hexen). It was composed between July 2009 and July 2010 in the Annex. To get one, please appeal to either Deep Madder editor or leave a comment here.

-yours

2010-06-22T12:13:00.000-04:00

“Why are we here? And why is it so terrible?”

-the “philosophical themes” that interest Woody Allen, as described here

Dost mine eyes deceive me?

2010-04-25T22:40:00.014-04:00

(click for larger pictures)

They do not! The 2009 anthology of Deep Madder Monthly is finally completed and ready for distribution. Rejoice!

If you are not a subscriber and would like to purchase one of these hand-crafted, 27 page, 33 038 word zines for the mere price of $5.00 (or if you'd like to subscribe for a slightly higher rate), please email us.

telling Autofill

2010-04-01T01:09:00.005-04:00

I was writing an e-mail just now. I started to type the subject/title with the letter F, at which point the auto-fill function proposed the word “Fuck.” I suppose I've begun one e-mail too many with said subject, not unlike my co-editor (who, coincidentally, noted this recently). This incident demonstrates how common this subject is in e-mails between us.

The Christening of D.M.

2010-03-04T18:26:00.012-05:00

I just discovered the instant messaging transmission between myself and Christopher from 16 January 2007 in which the name Deep Madder was decided on (in which “Valley Man” is my inexplicable I.M. pseudonym [Remember: We were only 22 years old]).

Valley Man says: (1:55:38 PM)

hey i was using some pastels last night, and i noticed one colour called Deep Madder / and that was one of the best sounding names ever. / so i wanna make a band called that, or a record label or something

Chris says: (1:56:01 PM)

ha, yeah, seriously. it reminds me of alice through the looking glass or whatever / maybe we should name our record label that

Valley Man says: (1:56:21 PM)

i agree / plus, it sounds like Deep Matter, but with a twist of 'madness'. not to mention it makes me think of 'murder'. ha, maybe it's too dark / plus, the pastel colour was red

[. . .]

Chris says: (1:57:54 PM)

yeah, i think we should name our label that

Valley Man says: (1:58:01 PM)

yeah me too. great / plus, i wanted our label name to be three syllables, so it's great.

Chris says: (1:58:35 PM)

yeah, I really like that name actually. it's perfect.

Early Hints of the D.M. Anthology Aesthetic

2010-03-04T01:30:00.005-05:00

“holy shite, imagine finishing a short story/tiny novel? hopefully i'll at least do a few of those someday, if not write novels. fuck, that would be amazing.[ ]not to mention publishing!! i'd make a black cover, and print it all on brown recycled paper, and the cover would be plainer than hell itself[. ]with no fancy photos or any shit like that which is so popular these days[. ]plus, i'd have no copyright symbol inside. i can't wait”

-A. Arvelo McQuaig, sent in an instant messaging conversation with C. Hubbarde on 4 September 2006 at 3:13 a.m.

A sneak peek...

2010-02-25T00:42:00.003-05:00

...into the Deep Madder Monthly creation process. Perhaps this can tide our readers over until the oft-delayed November and December issues are finally released.

Nick Mount on Waiting for Godot

2009-12-26T14:19:00.007-05:00

“That's how it is on this bitch of an earth.”

-Pozzo in Waiting for Godot

As mentioned in the July issue of Deep Madder Monthly, Beckett's Waiting for Godot is a play that captures the Deep Madder sentiment like very few other things in the world. Here is a lecture on the play given by Nick Mount, presented by the venerable TVO. Mount is one of my favourite professors at University of Toronto, and he gives a very apposite, almost Deep Madderian description of the emotional climate presented by said play. Please at least watch the initial anecdote, like ten minutes or something. It's really interesting.

Two new issues

2009-12-21T17:10:00.003-05:00

We are both pleased and embarrassed to announce that the July and August issues of Deep Madder Monthly are finally completed and on the verge of being mailed out. You will likely not receive them until sometime next week, however, given that Friday is a statutory holiday. But at least you'll then have a suitable companion for your post-Christmas blues.

We are currently working on the September and October issues, which can hopefully be completed within a week or so. We'd ideally like to get completely caught up before the end of the year, and have the 2009 Anthologies available some time in January.

And finally, we'd be remiss if we did not mention that many of these updates are posted to our Twitter account before anywhere else.

Break Up

2009-12-05T21:22:00.001-05:00

Canzine

2009-11-02T00:21:00.009-05:00

Our participation in Canzine was surprisingly successful, despite our preparation the night before* having allowed us less than two hours of sleep. We sold five anthologies of Deep Madder Monthly and 80 individual issues were taken for free. We expected to sell no more than two anthologies. As you can see, we composed a makeshift table arrangement to present our wares, including a new poster logo thing, subscription form, and pricing sheet, including “celebrity” testimony to our credibility (funny quotations of people we admire commenting on our zine). At one point we were visited by someone from Torontoist, who subsequently mentioned us in this article on said web log. We definitely intend to attend Canzine henceforth. Thank you for joining us, everyone (give or take). It was fun.

*During which we made a new Deep Madder Radio episode.

Please Visit Us at Canzine

2009-10-26T00:36:00.011-04:00

We have booked a table at this year's Canzine, which means we will be sitting somewhere in the Gladstone Hotel between 1-7 p.m. on 1 November 2009 feeling extremely nervous and unloved. Will you be so kind as to show (fake) your support for your most pitiable editors? Visitors will be rewarded with the opportunity to take a photograph of us feeling alienated in a milieu in which we should reasonably fit with the greatest consonance. Come to get your zines autographed, subscriptions renewed, or anthologies dusted!

We hope to have some sort of rushed, makeshift attempt at a “table display” to compensate for our lack of even the most amateur of marketing skills, as well as the fact that our zine and the entire Deep Madder enterprise are profoundly difficult to explain or justify. We will have the newest issues of Deep Madder Monthly available for free for curious passersby, perhaps sooner than they will reach subscribers, as well as anthologies for sale (so that we can feel sorry for ourselves when they fail to even attract a glance). We will also be offering a few new, made-for-Canzine novelty Deep Madder-themed items such as advertisement cards/pamphlets, (new) business cards, questionnaires, and maybe even posters. Please keep us company.

2009-10-03T04:15:00.005-04:00

“The closest he came to marriage was two proposals, both to the same woman 46 years his junior, which were not accepted. For companions he relied instead on a circle of friends and correspondants, and especially, in later life, on his Suliot chef, Giorgis, a faithful friend and, as Lear complained, a thoroughly unsatisfactory chef. Another trusted companion in Sanremo was his cat, Foss, who died in 1886 and was buried with some ceremony in a garden at Villa Tennyson. After a long decline in his health, Lear died at his villa in 1888, of the heart disease from which he had suffered since at least 1870. Lear's funeral was said to be a sad, lonely affair by the wife of Dr. Hassall, Lear's physician, not one of Lear's many lifelong friends being able to attend.”

-from the biography of illustrator/writer Edward Lear (1812-1888) in Wikipedia

2009-09-17T19:27:00.004-04:00

"He was given to fits of rage, Jewish, liberal paranoia, male chauvinism, self-righteous misanthropy, and nihilistic moods of despair. He had complaints about life, but never solutions. He longed to be an artist, but balked at the necessary sacrifices. In his most private moments, he spoke of his fear of death which he elevated to tragic heights when, in fact, it was mere narcissism."

-written about Woody Allen's character, Issac, by his ex-wife in her book, in Manhattan. Christopher noted that this describes us (and Deep Madder) so well. It is one of my favourite quotations ever. I wish people said this about us.

Deep Madder Radio, episode 4

2009-08-31T23:14:00.007-04:00

We have recorded a new episode of Deep Madder Radio. It can be found at this page, or downloaded directly from this link.

We also worked hard over the past weekend to try and get caught up with Deep Madder Monthly, and the June and July issues should be done shortly.

You can keep track of our important Deep Madder updates (such as those listed above) by subscribing to our new twitter account. We're working to integrate the twitter feed into this blog, but it's turning out to be more difficult than anticipated.

Deep Madder Masculinity

2009-08-13T23:30:00.008-04:00

“There’s lots of advice for women about how to get over shyness, but shyness can be much harder for men to deal with because it’s seen as a feminine trait. [. . .] The problem is that, according to all social rules, men are supposed to approach women, so love-shy heterosexual men fare badly.”

-Gillian Butler, from this article.*

I think this is why Deep Madderian writing often seems like (putatively) masculine articulations of (putatively) feminine sentiments: Deep Madder could almost be summarised as, "Two men struggling with feelings and inhabiting roles that are more common for women."

New "Header"

2009-06-25T01:28:00.007-04:00

Our web site continues to evolve. The thing at the top, which we have deemed a "header," is now rendered in a typeface called Monarchia, which was crafted by the people who call themselves "Gemfonts." You can download this font right here.

Notable Quotations from Pride and Prejudice

2009-06-16T03:32:00.010-04:00

"The more I see of the world, the more am I dissatisfied with it" (Austen 104).

"I certainly have not the talent which some people possess [...] of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done" (Austen 135).

"A slovenly and neglected manner of Writing, is a disobliging mark of want of respect" (Blair).

Works Cited:

Austen, Jane. Pride and Prejudice. New York: Oxford University Press Inc., 2004.

Blair, Hugh. Lecture 37, Lectures on Rhetoric and Belles Lettres, ii, 298-9.

Site Update

2009-06-14T03:23:00.011-04:00

Due to the great and ongoing efforts of Ms P. D. Clark (pictured, alongside myself), our website has begun to really be a website. We have radio episodes up, an "about" page in progress, and even a tiny icon that goes beside the address bar in your browser. Fancy. So does every one like it so far? I know you all were saving your ecstatic flattery and comments for this post, so let them finally roll in like a raccoon to garbage.

New Site

2009-06-10T20:38:00.007-04:00

Attention: A new site dedicated to Deep Madderian pursuits is now in its nascent stage, though developing rapidly like a lion cub. We are thus quickly approaching a time when, to stay abreast of Deep Madder happenings, one may simply visit deepmadder.com.

Looking at the Internet

2009-06-06T20:34:00.002-04:00

Looking at the Internet from Deep Madder on Vimeo.

The Purpose of Deep Madderian creations

2009-05-18T01:03:00.004-04:00

"I feel like one of the hugest things that music ever did for me was make me feel that there’s someone else who is feeling the way I am feeling — disconnected to humans as a whole."

-Adrian Orange, from an interview

This reflects the way I appreciate my own favourite songs, this paradoxical feeling of "there's someone else in the world who feels there's no one else in the world," or "I'm not alone in feeling alone." It is also conveyed in a Thanksgiving song:

I hope only that my lonely song

Will echo somehow everyone's

-Thanksgiving, from "Thanksgiving," from the album Thanksgiving

2009-04-29T17:45:00.004-04:00

I went for a walk with my new friend Mr R. Logan on the sylvan path adjacent to my favourite residential street in the city (Marlborough Place). He took this photograph of me.

Forgotten Definition from Issue No. 12

2009-04-26T00:10:00.002-04:00

Government as Selfish Individual Fallacy

Common amongst proponents of neo-conservatism and generally ignorant, reactionary individuals with a libertarian streak, this remarkably ubiquitous fallacy involves a strange, anthropomorphic conception of (democratic) governments as self-serving, avaricious monarchs who want to "take" the hard-earned money of the poor "taxpayer" for themselves. It is a consequence of Western individualism and American conceptions of "freedom" run amok that people conceive of themselves as so independent, self-sufficient, and frankly bratty that they cannot fathom why society ought to involve any sort of sharing or consideration of how others are affected by one's supposed, selfish "freedoms" (like the "right" to bear arms or indulge in environmentally-ruinous practices).

Deep Madder Radio, Episode One

2009-04-22T20:57:00.004-04:00

We here at Deep Madder are pleased to announce that the first episode of the soon-to-be-regular Deep Madder Radio feature is now ready for mass consumption. But so as not to sully the pleasing aesthete of this blog with the embedded player's utter hideousness, we instead direct you to this link for all your Episode One listening needs.

Tiny Zine for Limited Time

2009-04-05T00:29:00.013-04:00

Do you ever long for a copy of D.M. Monthly whilst "on the move"? D'you go to more places in one day than the editors do in a year? Then you may benefit from this mobile, fetching, and even "cute" version of your favourite zine. You can have it for free for a limited time! All you have to do is care about us. I.e. comment, just once. Please?

Time of Rejoice

2009-04-02T12:59:00.002-04:00

At last, both January and February issues of Deep Madder Monthly have parted from their makers unto the local mail box to begin their journey to their rightful, subscribing owners, leaving the editors an empty nest that will only be once again filled within two weeks or so with the next late issue of your beloved periodical.

Love,

Deep Madder

Love

2009-03-14T17:00:00.006-04:00

"I recently got one of those blatant spam e-mails saying, 'I've been trying to call you and I miss you,' but I opened it anyways because I would rather destroy my computer than miss out on the slim chance that it was actually you."

-One of many notes to lost love in this episode of WireTap, as (I think) sent to CBC by listeners and read out by CBC Radio employees

"I Google you every day. Sometimes I want to see you so badly that I stay up for hours trying to find you. On those days, I'll type your name and my name right after it because it's nice to see us next to each other like that."

"Every time I drove you home I prayed for traffic."

"I keep trying to get my hair back to exactly the way it was when you loved me."

These quotations are alarmingly germane to Deep Madder. They make my eyes slightly watery and my chest feel a little weird.

New Year of Deep Madder Monthly Imminent

2009-03-14T16:05:00.004-04:00

For any of you who have noticed, fear not; the retarded release of January's issue of our publication does not signal its cessation. In fact, as we speak, your humble editors are hard at work on said issue as well as that of February so as to shower our readers with a sudden Deep Madderian explosion heretofore unseen. Indeed, within a week (or two, at the most), expect to feast on two charming bundles of literary delight, presented in a new style and format to mark the año nuevo.

Deep Madder Monthly Anthology 2008

2009-02-28T03:26:00.020-05:00

To hoard all the issues of 2008 without undergoing the pesky process of having to read each issue upon its release throughout that year (not to mention raze entire forests and ecosystems in the process [this is a joke]), you may now order in a convenient, charming, and hand-assembled bundle the first anthology of Deep Madder Monthly. These bizarre trivia below will somehow accentuate the value of this deal.

Words: 32 246

Pages: 23

Instances of "F word": 38

Percent of said instances uttered by editors in quotations section: 42

Approximate cost of production materials for each subscription: $13

Anthology 2008 from Deep Madder on Vimeo.

Lanterns - I Could Have Been the One Listening

2009-02-26T21:17:00.001-05:00

Songs about the relationship between the recorded musician and listener, and "art" as an attempt to be loved and get closer to people but it (or speech) can't quite reach across the gap (or differences) between speaker and listener, despite the fact that we are all essentially the same person, or at least we were born the same and are now disguised by how our particular experience has changed us. Thus, perhaps listening to (or making) recorded music and other solitary entertainment like watching television are a product (and perpetuater) of loneliness.

This is the 3rd Lanterns full-length, released in May 2008.

Track Listing:

1. Stuff
2. Under Your Cover
3. Sidewalk
4. I Could Have Been You Now (Judging)
5. Indoor Voices
6. Say Something
7. Don't Do Whatever You Want (Preaching)
8. Lose My Self
9. All Of You
10. There's Only Change Between Us
11. No My Space (Lose Your Home)
12. See Me Off
13. Take Away My Microphone

Cost: $8 (or P.W.Y.C.), for a C.D. in needlessly-difficult-to-make packaging

Lanterns - Sing In Vain

2009-02-26T20:20:00.008-05:00

In Vain is the inaugural Deep Madder release (but 3rd release from Lanterns). It is ten songs that are mostly about trying to get closer to you through song but failing and how difficult communication is. It was released in early 2007 and has been the most widely distributed Lanterns release thus far. You may remember it from such strategically placed locations as the streets of Toronto or the university hot spots in North Bay. Own a piece of history.

Track Listing:

1. No Cover
2. Cover
3. Ivy Climbs
4. Where I'm Going?
5. Come With Me
6. All My Songs
7. Leaves
8. Home
9. Just Living
10. Sailing

Cost: $8 (or P.W.Y.C.), for a compact disc housed in simple hand-made packaging

Get Sung / Macabre Macaw

2009-02-25T16:00:00.013-05:00

This is a split compact disc from 2006 of ten songs each by Lanterns and Conconquidore Truidore. Presented by Reel Cod Records. It is a funny mix of songs. We have a million of these to sell. It has to cost ten dollars because we have to pay for it as it was made by a professional factory of compact disc makers and cost a lot of money. The covers were made by one Linton Murphy, if you are curious.

Obligatory (joke) quotation:

"Sounds good."

-Phil Elverum, on listening to it

Lanterns - Get Poor (Or Die Trying)

2009-02-25T14:59:00.000-05:00

Released in the prolific year of 2006, Get Poor is the second full-length release by Lanterns. The songs are about being pathetic and the importance of being good, ascetic, humble, forthcoming, and as emotionally-naked and vulnerable as possible. This C.D. has not been distributed in years, but for you we'll make an exception.

Track Listing:

1. Song
2. Lanterns
3. I'll Be Small 1
4. There's So Much, Just Living
5. Light House Blues
6. There's So Much
7. I'll Be Small 2
8. Get Poor
9. Goodness Knows
10. Time For Sleep
11. I'll Be Small 3
12. There's So Much, Just Living (instrumental)
13. This Is Just Music

Cost: $8 (or P.W.Y.C.), for a compact disc housed in hand-crafted packaging

Lanterns - Moon Sung

2009-02-25T13:14:00.001-05:00

[picture and track listing coming soon]

This is the first Lanterns album, released in March 2006 (and largely neglected soon thereafter). Some of the songs appear on the later split C.D. with Conconquidore Truidore. The album is about being alone, dependent, and weak.

Track Listing:

1. I know you're there (introduction with rain)

2. To find you love

3. Night has come

4. River

5. Moon tide

6. Every day

7. Pigs (interlude)

8. Tell me

9. Holy night

10. These songs

11. Say it

12. Dawn

13. Dawn 2

Cost: $8 (or P.W.Y.C.), for a C.D. in packaging that I don't remember, since it's been nearly 3 years.

Deep Madder Monthly Anthology 2008

2009-02-24T16:52:00.002-05:00

Making Anthologies from Deep Madder on Vimeo.

Advertisement!

2009-02-11T23:41:00.003-05:00

All non-subscribing readers of Deep Madder Monthly take note:

Beginning 2009, Deep Madder Monthly will be a subscriber-only periodical. That is, the editors will make even less of an effort (i.e. none) to deliver 2009 issues to non-subscribers. Therefore, it is with great tenacity that we ask you to subscribe at this juncture, so that you may prevent our entire readership from slipping to the diminutive number of current subscribers.

Love,

the Deep Madder Monthly staff

I am lonely...

2009-01-30T03:25:00.001-05:00

...and sad, at 3:30 in the morning, or so. That is all. Please continue with your lives.

New Release from Deep Madder Records

2009-01-29T22:47:00.001-05:00

Lose My Self in Your Self (DMR003)

A new E.P. consisting of six final versions of Lanterns pop songs previously previewed in I Could Have Been the One Listening:

1. All of You (about interdependency)

2. Under Your Cover (a wish to have a partner and dependency)

3. Lose My Self (about normalcy)

4. Indoor Voices (about the insularity of a song writer)

5. Song to Be Understood (about songs as speech)

6. Why Am I Still Singing? (about the insularity of a song writer)

Made to sound fresh and clean.

Cost: $5 or pay what you want or be my friend.

Obama Inauguration Depression

2009-01-26T15:00:00.006-05:00

Am I completely alone in this, as usual? Does no one else have a problem with Beyonce's (not to mention other detestable pop stars) performing at the Obama inauguration thing? Everyone I've suggested displeasure about this with has seemed utterly clueless as to why anyone would have a distaste for Beyonce and her inclusion in said "historic" event. I suppose the fact that she's black makes the sight of Barack and Michelle dancing to Beyonce's singing such a touching spectacle (in that it is meant to symbolise the end of racism or some shit), and this has blinded people to the fact that she's more than just a symbol of racial harmony.

When I first saw that it made my stomach hurt. I, too, had succumbed to the ubiquitous glorification of Obama and the miraculous nature of his presidency. I was unable to resist the belief that now everything's different with him - according to the stereotypes, a city-loving, urbane, sophisticated person - in power. But yeah, seeing that threw my delusions out the window.

What if Britney Spears or Gwen Stefani or Christina Aguilera had been the ones taking centre stage at that shit? If that would make you uncomfortable, then is being black Beyonce's redeeming quality?

I don't know what I would've preferred to Beyonce, but not a fucking super pop star aimed at teenagers that shakes her booty on every screen and advertisement in the world. Couldn't they have found a more mature, dignified singer for such a symbolically epic dance? I don't know, their dancing to Beyonce just seems to make this vibe like "this is the best this country has to offer: pop music for stupid kids as seen on television." It's like more of the same target-everything-to-youth-because-then-it-will-seem-hip-and-everyone-will-like-it bullshit. It's like they went to the nearest MTV outlet or something to look for musical talent for this show. Ugh. I guess I expected too much.

Odd Stipulation

2009-01-23T17:51:00.004-05:00

I didn't think it was possible, but they've taken the rules for Deep Madder functions (see the November issue) one step further:

Save the Date

2009-01-12T01:36:00.005-05:00

Ladies and gentlemen, mark your calendars - Deep Madder's very own Lanterns "baby girl, what's your name?" blues band is publicly performing a scrumptious batch of songs on the 18th day of January, year 2009.

Commencing at 10:00 p.m. at Sneaky Dee's in Toronto, you'll want to make sure that you arrive early, so as to guarantee yourself optimal seating for what has been described (astoundingly inaccurately) as "sweet and happy acoustic folk pop."

For more information, visit this Internet Webpage.

2009-01-02T22:15:00.003-05:00

"I will stay here long enough just to be new again."

-Thanksgiving, from "Old Only to Be New Again"

Deep Madder Monthly Floodgates Opening Imminently

2008-12-27T11:29:00.009-05:00

Beware! A new year brings a newfound urgency to the purpose of the editors of Deep Madder Monthly. Consequently, we will soon be releasing not one but TWO issues (November and December) synchronously, thus completing the year's work that will comprise the year-end anthology of all issues therein. In order to ensure your acquisition of all this, as well as future issues of the zine, you may purchase one of the following packages:

$5 (plus applicable happiness tax) for a subscription consisting of twelve (12) issues and the year-end anthology.

$2 (plus requisite happiness tax) for merely the year-end anthology.

To calculate your happiness tax, simply rate your happiness from one to five (1-5) and then add that number of dollars to the price. To make your order, contact the editors through e-mail (deepmadder@gmail.com) or whatever way you want.

Note: By the way, pardon the vulgar, financial talk, but if you are one of those people (you know who you are) who are apprehensive and suspicious of our ostensive avaricious and capitalistic motivations in charging such prices for these offers, allow us to mention that we will not only make no profit from said pricing, but will be losing money from each purchase. Each subscription, we have calculated, costs us no less than $12. Thus, even if you're the happiest person in the world, you will only be paying $10, though most readers will probably pay $7 or $8. If we (eventually) have a mere ten subscribers, for instance, all yielding $7, we are still subsidising $60 a year.

Further Note: If you are unable or unwilling to afford such prices, you may receive any offer gratis. If you are, conversely, unable to, try as you might, fathom even a modicum of the appeal of this zine, you should not feel guilty for this fact as it is beyond your control.

I never realised Charlie Brown is so great.

2008-12-16T21:34:00.002-05:00

(please ignore the preliminary advertisement)

2008-12-07T00:00:00.003-05:00

"I think I wouldn't be surprised if someone said, '"2008"? It's 2009, Joel.'"
-Joel W. Nash, on the rut of his life, 6 December 2008 4:45 p.m.

Foolproof method

2008-12-04T18:33:00.003-05:00

I was thinking today, and I decided that the litmus test to determine the quality of a "punk" scene (i.e., my potential of fitting in) is to observe their views on GG Allin. If he's even remotely revered, it's a lost cause.

Fret Not

2008-11-30T20:38:00.003-05:00

Such that this modest blog does not go the entire month of November without a posting, I shall use this opportunity to announce the imminent release of Deep Madder Issue #9. Admittedly, that will be our October issue, but every effort is being made to ensure that issues #10 and 11 follow as soon afterward as is humanly possible.

And with that, you may rest assured that your fearful editors are still alive, and continuing to toil in obscurity.

Attention! New Lanterns C.D.

2008-10-20T18:31:00.003-04:00

Pre-order the I Could Have Been the One Listening E.P.! It will be all new versions of songs hand-picked by the writer and maybe a new one. To be finished for the first person who orders it!*

Just tell me your name and your address in an e-mail to deepmadder@gmail.com and I will send you one. "Pay What You Can" or $7 (cheap!).

*i.e. it will never be finished

Popularity Contest

2008-10-18T22:56:00.003-04:00

Who is the more popular member of Deep Madder? Using advanced statistical analysis (i.e., profile views), we are about to find out:

Christopher: 122 profile views
Alexander: 166 profile views

Congratulations, Alexander. I shall now return to the cave of obscurity from whence I came.

P.S. It should be noted that the vast majority of these profile views were likely from the 2 of us to begin with.

Subscriptions Available

2008-10-10T15:03:00.005-04:00

If YOU sit in your house checking your e-mail and internet sites all day in an attempt to find a friend in your computer and, incidentally, want to bear your soul to the vultures of the universe then you should subscribe to

D E E P M A D D E R M O N T H L Y

this minute!

Yearly pricing is as follows. Each issue will arrive in your mailbox each month in an envelope with our love. Further, subscription includes a year-end bounded compendium of the year's issues.

1. Those who smoke pay eight dollars
2. Those who consider themselves happy (i.e. have a partner) pay seven dollars
3. Those who are single but have once been considered attractive pay six dollars
4. Those for whom the prospect of living causes more daily anxiety than that of dying pay five dollars

2008-10-10T15:00:00.002-04:00

"Life isn't easy, buddy, it'll never go right
and everybody is gonna die
but you and me can be happy, i think, in so many ways."
-Thanksgiving, from "Judges"

2008-09-21T13:19:00.002-04:00

"My sister sent me a picture from her honeymoon

And from her life I felt so far removed."

-Thanksgiving, from "Weeping"

2008-09-10T11:38:00.001-04:00

"If you come into bad luck

Just try and give everything up

And if you hurt and feel bad

Just start kneeling down"

-Thanksgiving, "Don't Be Afraid"

2008-08-07T12:59:00.001-04:00

"Popularity is the hallmark of mediocrity."

-Niles, from Frasier episode 2.19

2008-07-29T17:08:00.007-04:00

Everyone loves self-deprecating guys, apparently.

"Greengross studied the role of humor in sexual selection for 2 years and was 'surprised' how often self-deprecating humor was used. Surprised? Really? Do men actually think that women wants [sic] a cocky guy who brags about himself all the time?"

This comment, in response to said article, is funny:

"Sorry, but there are plenty of douchebag alpha males getting laid
aplenty without one ounce of modesty or self-deprecation."

-Macloserboy

[courtesy of one P. D. Clark]

The Perceived Elitism of Eschewing Things (e.g. Pop Culture)

2008-07-19T16:57:00.010-04:00

"I like that he watches television and admits it; I like that a lot."

-Unknown female speaker on CBC Radio 1, speaking of Carl Wilson of Zoilus, in conversation with other speakers about Wilson's book Let's Talk About Love

Why is it that people seem to derive so much pleasure from others' indulgences? It seems that, because it reassures them about their own questionable interests or actions or increases their relative sense of self-worth, people usually prefer others who are ethically negligent and whose interests are as average as possible. Why is ethical humility and having prosaic interests more attractive than a sincere dedication towards being a better person and liking extraordinary things? Why is it that people such as Zicheng Xu (or at least the classic, unprecedentedly progressive Zicheng), who try their best to be as considerate as possible, will have no girlfriend while oblivious, mediocre monsters will have millions?

Furthermore, what kind of bizarre interest is that (guys who watch television and admit it)? Maybe I'm crazy, but I could've sworn that EVERYONE in our society watches and loves and talks about television and stupid shows every day of their lives; it's not an even remotely niche or unique quality. I mean, it's like saying, "I have a weakness for people who eat meat" or "...drive cars." I attribute it to the endlessly committed Universalised Alternative Fallacy.*

Is it really that terrible to not like or do stupid shit? That is, presuming you deem television a lower form of entertainment, as partially implied in said radio programme, is there not something admirable about people who seek ostensibly higher forms of entertainment? In my experience, those who have such non-pop culture interests are punished and restrained by this sense of the (putative) humility inherent in participating in popular culture. Why can't anyone admit that popular culture is extremely inane and not worth our attention without feeling guilty about it, as though saying so is a declaration of one's elitism?

Furthermore, the term pop culture seems misleading; it makes it sound like a grassroots, people-powered phenomenon, while in truth it is not created by/for people at all, for the most part, but by corporations and for money. The term, then, itself is part of the reason that pop culture is perceived as a variety of entertainment, and set of interests, of greater humility and tolerability.

The degree of popularity of one's interests is not a matter of humility or arrogance. Although it is generally perceived as such, eschewing pop culture and, in doing so, implying that it is beneath one, is not synonymous with believing one to be superior to others who embrace pop culture. It is possible, in fact, to genuinely completely prefer alternative culture, and to believe that pop culture is beneath everyone, not just oneself. Moreover, having esoteric interests is largely indicative of being sufficiently passionate about the arts that one has assiduously sought out the musicians, painters, poets, writers, and so forth, that one enjoys or admires most, rather than settling with those whose popularity and conspicuousness has necessitated one to notice. Esoteric, discriminating interests are not, in fact, usually mere products of arrogance or attempts at higher stature any more than popular interests are. Anyway, if one is using musical interests as social capital, it seems much more likely and useful that one would profess a fancy for a band that many people like rather than one that nobody has ever heard of or that people hate.

I do not watch television, though I did consistently throughout my childhood (and, thus, my life until recently). I am fortunate enough to not own a television, though I would be sufficiently tempted to watch it if I did. However, I actively avoid it, like drugs, because I do not want to succumb to its temptations; I think it's intellectually harmful and paralysing. Thus, to say that I deem television a nearly worthless medium of entertainment that one should avoid is not to say that I am superior to those who watch television; it is to say that I merely believe I oughtn't to watch it. Though I can, of course, derive much pleasure from watching television, and would watch it if I had sufficient access to one, I object to its effects and wish it didn't exist (and this is not a contradiction). It is, contrary to popular belief (and notions of hypocrisy), possible to condemn something that one can (or does) enjoy (and I would know because I do it daily).

*Universalised Alternative Fallacy: the assumption that the atypical views and ways of life that one is accustomed to are equally familiar to and practiced by most people, ostensibly caused by the abundance of other, similarly alternatively minded people in one's social circle obfuscating one's ideas of the majority.

Zinus Maximus

2008-07-14T13:42:00.003-04:00

MAXIMUM ZINAGE ACCOMPLISHED.

A zine of its word, Deep Madder Monthly has now, as previously promised, five (5) issues available to assist in your diversion (presuming, of course, that you possess the gift of literacy). What we mean to say, then, is that the tenacious alacrity this announcement will inevitably summon in you, as to the procurement of said offerings, may be quickly assuaged by noting your desire for copies in a comment.

Note: again, we would like to remind you at this point to limit your comments to one per person, so as to avert a server overload, a goal the achievement of which is not, we assure you, without precedent.

2008-07-03T11:58:00.001-04:00

"I am buried in dynamite

begging god for a light"

-Tom Blood

P. Elverum

2008-06-25T11:26:00.001-04:00

"Licensing your music out to companies for TV ads: good or bad?

In most cases bad. But what if it was a TV ad for something I really felt ethically obliged to help promote? Like a tall frosty Heineken?"

-from this New interview

2008-06-18T18:31:00.004-04:00

How do you feel about this?

If You Always Like The Emotionally Unavailable, It's Because You Probably Are, Too

(submitted for scrutiny by one P. Clark)

I find interesting the ubiquitous assumption that single people (namely boys) who do weird shit like buy inanimate girlfriends are "people who are so scared to get hurt that they subconsciously choose relationships in which they won't be." That is, this article implies that people who are single have chosen to be so, as though it is always a matter of volition, and anyone who is single is simply eschewing the "endless string" of partners waiting just outside the door.

Maybe it's not the case that "some dudes would rather have an expensive doll than try to have a relationship with a person" so much as they can't have a relationship with a person because no one likes them.

Am I wrong?

"How to Ask a Woman Out on a Date"

2008-06-12T21:25:00.003-04:00

Someone posted this article on Digg, and I couldn't help but check what sagacious advice it was sure to have. Let's take a look:

Difficulty: Moderate

Things You’ll Need:

Confidence
Willpower
Determination
Guts

And that's roughly where I realized there was no point in reading any further.

Deep Madder (Soon to be) Monthly

2008-06-09T19:35:00.006-04:00

Who needs no zines? I know I don't. However, when it comes to zines, I need 'em!

That's why we at Deep Madder Publishing Corporation are proud to announce that in the month of June no less than FOUR issues of Deep Madder Monthly will (presumably) be released!

Featuring:
-interviews of local celebrities such as us, Matthew Flook, and hitherto unknown others.
-meandering jokes
-peremptory pontification

(Request a subscription by commenting [though try to space out said requests so as to prevent a server overload])

2008-05-28T03:09:00.002-04:00

"I guess a lot of people already know, because I use her name in songs about it; it was Khaela from the Blow. But as much of a struggle, frustrating, heartbreaking, back-and-forth thing as it was, it was also a learning experience and very productive.'"
-Phil W. Elverum, on the romantic focus of the Glow Pt. 2, in this wonderful article you should read

2008-05-12T22:50:00.004-04:00

I'm currently sitting alone in an empty house, tapping away at an email using my newly-replaced keyboard. It has a certain springiness to it that my fingers are appreciatively lapping up. My sole light source is that of a fixture in the hall way; one that has a tendency to give off a buzzing noise. Sometimes I find the noise madness-inducing, whereas at other times I find it strangely soothing. Right now it thankfully falls into the latter category.

I thought I was going to hear from/do something with various other Pickering-ites tonight, but at this point in the evening it seems rather doubtful that such things will come to fruition. I don't mind too much though, and in fact didn't even bother to phone around, because I figured I needed the time to work on the aforementioned email (which, upon completion, will travel across the long tubes of the internet to you, my dear Alejandro). I've been working on it for the past 3 hours or so (though not without frequent breaks for pointless internet perusal) and it's perhaps half finished, currently standing at 3200 words. I'll probably soon cease work on it for the night, and make some sort of snack. I begin work tomorrow, so a decent bed time is a must.

While tonight hasn't been a complete waste, it certainly isn't exactly an ideal way to spend one's time. Self-reflection (and its subsequent transference to text) seems like only a marginally more respectable to whittle away the time than my other solitary options for the night.

I wonder if I'll do anything productive or worthwhile this summer.

2008-05-06T21:11:00.002-04:00

"'I Could Have Been the One Listening' by Lanterns"

now available for your possession on compact disc

for the fee of asking for it.

Two Edward Gorey Limericks

2008-04-30T23:55:00.001-04:00

To his club-footed child said Lord Stipple,
As he poured his post-prandial tipple:
"Your mother's behaviour
Gave pain to Our Saviour
And that's why He made you a cripple."

Each night father fills me with dread
When he sits on the foot of my bed;
I don't mind that he speaks
In gibbers and squeaks
But for seventeen years he's been dead.

2008-04-27T15:16:00.001-04:00

"Weak things have power.
...Only the truly weak are free of
the temptation to dominate, to harm.
That is why democracy is about weakness,
why it is to the weak we turn for help
when we are beaten, condemned.
This is why poems continue
like the air."

2008-04-26T23:23:00.003-04:00

I am going to have pasta with tomato sauce for dinner. I called Christopher but he wasn't home. I have installed my little aloe plant in an equally little pot on my window sill and it looks fetching if I do say so myself. I have to read a tonne of stuff to be ready for my examinations on Wednesday and Thursday and it will be very difficult. I wait for posts and comments on these two blogs when I'm lonely. I want to make songs about fundamental human feelings lately. Like, wanting to be loved and being selfish and insecure; (attempts to be) honest accounts of facets of my/our personality. and songs that are simple mere quotidian communication between two people like this weird relatively recent one by adrian orange. i've been writing about the self, about one's conception of the separation of themselves and others, and how you need others and how you need people's love and attention and that's why you do a lot of things that you do, etc.

"Come on and sit by me ...
and I won't criticise you, no I won't, ... no, I sympathise
and i won't conflict with you, ... no, I will be true
And I hope you like me but I know you will
Because we've shared a lot and we share it still.
...
I love you like you love me
I love and trust you like you trust me"

Thoughts on contemporary art

2008-04-24T04:13:00.001-04:00

I feel that contemporary art is far more concerned with being ostentatiously "clever" and innovative than pleasantly affecting the senses and making an immediate profound effect of some kind, which is what I think ought to be the primary objective of visual art, just as it is for music, poetry, etc.. It seems that contemporary art has lost touch with the senses and emotions, dismissing them as kitsch, and appeals now solely to the intellect and exists almost exclusively in a highly academic context. Visual art ought to be enjoyed immediately when viewed, like a piece of music is when listened to, not only upon extensive further analysis and retrospection. Like my high school art teacher once said, such conceptual art reaches a point when one wonders why the "artist" didn't just write an essay instead of make the "artwork".

(i posted this on a blog yesterday)

It has been a long while since I've posted anything here...

2008-04-22T19:52:00.002-04:00

But since my current societal responsibilities are soon coming to a close, I (and Deep Madder in general) shall return with a vengeance that will render the average layman and/or laywoman speechless!

Right, Alexander? Plus, we're nearly two months behind on Deep Madder Monthly. Dare I suggest a DOUBLE OR MAYBE EVEN TRIPLE ZINE FOR MAY?!?!?

I learned a new word to describe myself

2008-04-22T15:40:00.007-04:00

I think I am homosocial because of my socially burdensome proclivity to romancify & objectify the opposite sex. With men I am able to enjoy a "pure" friendship, unhindered by the romantic insecurities, anxiety, and considerations that inexorably arise in me with the opposite sex, despite (though the degree of which is contingent on) the attractiveness or romantic potential of the given person. Whilst solely amongst (heterosexual) men I feel like there is a greater equality in the group and less of a competitive climate; that is, we enjoy a sense of camaraderie & supportive rapport perhaps akin to that amongst members of the same sports team or cultural group. For these reasons I feel the pubescent advent of sexuality and romantic attraction presents many problems for us, contrary to the glorified status sexuality holds (at least in pop/youth/alternative culture in our society).

(I realise that this sort of thinking and said proclivities are problematic but they are merely how I feel, not how think I ought to feel [which are two very different things]. Plus, I of course do love having female friends, but this is just an idea about the difference.)

[Note: none of this applies whilst with a partner]

2008-04-21T16:55:00.003-04:00

"I took my leave then and he gathered several of his books for me to take. I offered to pay and he waved his hand. 'I don't sell them now. I give them away.'"

-Toronto Star columnist Joe Fiorito on having recently visited poet Raymond Souster

2008-03-22T22:29:00.001-04:00

Here's the thing: the point of making the zine a mere one page was so that we'll always get it done. thus, we have no excuse. so at the end of the month we always need to finish one, no matter how shitty it is. what do you think? this is what i think.

2008-03-18T14:22:00.002-04:00

Would you (anyone who reads this other than the two writers [i.e. no one]) please contribute to the second issue of

Deep Madder Monthly ?

then do tell

(it is in production as we speak)

2008-03-06T23:07:00.001-05:00

If you wanna travel around
do it in your frown
crawl through all your bones
'cause there's no eternal spring
and the new blossoms will die
like a first or faithless love
don't go off with that prince
and forsake your good husband
your babies will grow old
and there's no greener grass
for you to find at last
there's no grand reward

-Thanksgiving, from "Stay in Spring Field"

Minorities

2008-02-21T14:12:00.007-05:00

Idea: It seems that people like us, the weird sensitive 'alternative' people or whatever you want to call it who happen to be white and "middle class," relate to minorities like Jewish, black, and homosexual people more than our own racial/economic class identity because we live as a minority group ourselves. Maybe it's why we love the Woody Allens and Larry Davids of the world so much, and David Chappelle, etc. And yes, we are clearly not such a disadvantaged group as the aforementioned, but I think that to some extent we do feel a sort of kinship with minority figures in pop culture because our "alternative" or "fringe" interests and mindsets are so insanely uncommon, esoteric, and completely disregarded, if not ridiculed, by pop culture. Thus, we relate to sentiments of ostracism and misanthropy.

2008-02-17T20:10:00.002-05:00

ATTENTION:

The first issue of

Deep Madder Monthly

is now available by request (just tell me, or deepmadder@gmail.com)

What is this, you ask? it's an entire zine on one page (tiny but endearing font size) of weird and illuminating articles on the topic of life written by Christopher Hubbarde and Alexander Arvelo McQuaig.

so yes, get one whilst you can

Good advice for Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T13:01:00.004-05:00

(click picture for full-size)

2008-02-13T17:15:00.002-05:00

Growing Up

before you know it your life will become mundane
abandoning appreciation of itself in a magic way
the way you used to look at things
before you’d seen them all before
the way you weren’t then so proud
and how you didn’t talk so loud
but your lungs have become stone walls
around the gasps you take before
your heart sings in the blue of
the new moment that’s coming for you

-Source

Not in the least bit glib...

2008-02-08T01:46:00.000-05:00

"It's important to acknowledge your real feelings, so give yourself permission to wallow a little bit if you're feeling extra sad or lonely. The key words here are 'a little bit.' Don't allow yourself to dwell or obsess. Confine your wallowing to a certain time period -- say, 15 minutes of self-pity and that's it."
- Source

2008-01-16T13:49:00.001-05:00

"I don't know, maybe that seems insignificant to you. And it is, but my life is insignificant, so it suits me well."
-Christopher N. Hubbarde, to Alexander in an e-mail
15 January 2008 12:37am

2007-12-12T19:15:00.000-05:00

"You make my heart smile with your humour! You naturally include everyone and make them feel important!"
- Anonymous section 6 classmate, from an activity whereby you had to write something positive about each person in the class and place it in their labelled cup at the back of the room

That is by far the nicest thing that someone has ever said/written about me. When I first read it, I felt like crying. I really wish I knew who wrote it.

On handwritten vs typed text

2007-12-10T12:45:00.001-05:00

I was thinking about perfect-looking text, like the stuff you're reading now that's been typed by a computer instead of written by my hand:

'Back in the day', before we could just reproduce letters and write shit out so that it looks perfect and all the letters were identical, this sort of effect had to be attempted by hand. when achieved, it exuded an aesthetic of extreme labour and care; it proved that TONNES of work went into rendering each letter, and thus there was a sort of air of dignity and a special beauty to it.

now, however, such fancy perfect-looking lettering is EVERYWHERE, since it's easier than life to reproduce letters. therefore, it's lost this air of specialness and dignity, and it's become way more common in our visual landscape than hand-written text.

thus, it feels, at least to me, as if now hand-written text, despite how sloppy or quick it looks, is the sort of text that gives an air of effort and care, not to mention intimacy, and computerised text is the lazy choice. so yeah, i was just thinking about this weird shift.

2007-12-09T16:18:00.000-05:00

I was perusing the internet today instead of working on the mounds of assignments I have, and I came across some sort of horoscope-related thing, explaining the type of lover an individual was based on their astrological sign.

Out of sheer curiosity, I scrolled down to Libra (my own birth sign). While other signs had titles such as "The Beauty" and "The Promiscuous One," to my mild surprise, Libra was labelled "The Lame One".

So I guess it's not my fault that I'm so pathetic. It was predestined by the alignments of the planets and the stars and such.