10 October 2008

Subscriptions Available

If YOU sit in your house checking your e-mail and internet sites all day in an attempt to find a friend in your computer and, incidentally, want to bear your soul to the vultures of the universe then you should subscribe to

D E E P M A D D E R M O N T H L Y

this minute!

Yearly pricing is as follows. Each issue will arrive in your mailbox each month in an envelope with our love. Further, subscription includes a year-end bounded compendium of the year's issues.

1. Those who smoke pay eight dollars
2. Those who consider themselves happy (i.e. have a partner) pay seven dollars
3. Those who are single but have once been considered attractive pay six dollars
4. Those for whom the prospect of living causes more daily anxiety than that of dying pay five dollars

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4 Comments:

Blogger Christopher said...

5. Those who talk to Christopher about subscribing need only provide a few stamps.

October 10, 2008 at 5:49 PM  
Blogger Alexander said...

6. Those who insist that it's worth paying at least $10 (a la Pamela) get a lifetime of respect.

October 10, 2008 at 11:44 PM  
Blogger Christopher said...

7. Those who suspect that Alexander is secretly Rich Uncle Pennybags get my agreement.

October 11, 2008 at 10:04 AM  
Blogger Lindsay said...

I'll give you greedy bastards stamps and that's it. (the dirty, torn doubles from my recently found stamp collection.)

October 13, 2008 at 2:40 AM  

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