22 April 2008

I learned a new word to describe myself

I think I am homosocial because of my socially burdensome proclivity to romancify & objectify the opposite sex. With men I am able to enjoy a "pure" friendship, unhindered by the romantic insecurities, anxiety, and considerations that inexorably arise in me with the opposite sex, despite (though the degree of which is contingent on) the attractiveness or romantic potential of the given person. Whilst solely amongst (heterosexual) men I feel like there is a greater equality in the group and less of a competitive climate; that is, we enjoy a sense of camaraderie & supportive rapport perhaps akin to that amongst members of the same sports team or cultural group. For these reasons I feel the pubescent advent of sexuality and romantic attraction presents many problems for us, contrary to the glorified status sexuality holds (at least in pop/youth/alternative culture in our society).

(I realise that this sort of thinking and said proclivities are problematic but they are merely how I feel, not how think I ought to feel [which are two very different things]. Plus, I of course do love having female friends, but this is just an idea about the difference.)

[Note: none of this applies whilst with a partner]



Blogger Pamela said...

I like this post! But the term "homosocial" is usually used more in the context of describing bonding between same-sex people while in (almost) exclusively same-sex company, ie. the military, sports, prison, etc. I don't know if it really applies in your case, since it's not like you're saying that you -avoid- comparable friendships with women, just that your friendships with women are different than those with men.

April 22, 2008 at 4:23 PM  
Blogger Pamela said...

PS. Let's make everyone we know move into this palace!


April 22, 2008 at 4:24 PM  
Blogger Alexander said...

that's an amazingly big crazy house with so much potential fo' a large group. it would be so fun.

April 22, 2008 at 10:40 PM  
Blogger Alexander said...

true that, but are you sure that's what homosocial has to mean?

April 22, 2008 at 10:40 PM  
Blogger Caroline said...

homosocial means "same social", i would think. perhaps homosexually social or intrasexually social would be more appropriate?
i find this post depressing at best.

May 5, 2008 at 1:25 AM  
Blogger Caroline said...

Postscript: Just to add to/elaborate on that, I would think that if the term homosocial is supposed to mean social with members of the same sex, it's using "homo" as just a shortened form of the word homosexual and it's assumed that the audience will get it. This takes out the "sexual" part of it, which is really very necessary in understanding what the word "homosexual" means, and probably also what the homo part of homosocial means. Why take out the root of the word? Because it makes it sound like you're saying someone's gay? Who made up this word, anyway?
Also, this does a disservice to the prefix homo, since it does not have anything to do with sex on its own, but if it keeps being used in a way that assumes association with sexuality, it will lose its ability to be used otherwise.

May 5, 2008 at 1:36 AM  

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